Caregivers frequently need to be reminded of this fact: giving the best care doesn’t always mean giving it yourself.

Not everyone is a born caregiver. Even the most well-meaning person may not possess the necessary skills to provide proper care. And then there are those caregivers who are excellent at caregiving, but simply need a break. For these circumstances, outside helpers can be brought into the home to stay with a person who has cancer. What that helper does and how long he or she stays depends on your needs and the needs of your loved one. Some respite workers may stay only a few hours and function largely as a companion, while others may stay eight to 12 hours.

Remember, respite care is also for the person with cancer.

This was discussed a bit in our last issue, but it bears repeating. As important as respite care is for you, it is also important for the person for whom you are caring.

For one thing, it can mean a new and interesting person for your loved one to talk to. For another, it can help the person with cancer feel like less of a burden on his or her caregiver. It is often distressing, and even depressing, for people with cancer to watch their caregivers grow tired and stressed and not be able to do anything to help. In short, respite care is helpful for both caregiver and patient.

The many roles of respite care.

It all depends upon your needs. A respite care worker may help by coming in at night and talking to the person with cancer, by giving food or drink to the person, or by helping him or her to move in the bed. Sometimes, these helpers may simply stay with the patient – for as little as a few hours or up to several days.

The type of person you use for respite care depends on your specific needs and those of the patient. You might need someone who is skilled in basic nursing care, or simply someone who can be a kind, compassionate, reliable individual capable of acting promptly if an emergency arise.

How to find respite help.

Check any local telephone book and you will likely find listing for respite care services. Sometimes they are listed under “home health care” or sometimes under “visiting nurse agencies.” But there are other ways to find competent and reliable help, too.

You obviously will want someone who is honest and reliable. It is best to hire a person with qualified references, and it’s always wise to check at least one reference before using a respite helper who is not an employee or a volunteer at an agency.

Try one of the following approaches:

• Ask a doctor, nurse, or other health care team member for a list of agencies that employ respite workers.
• Ask these same providers if they keep a list of qualified, self-employed respite workers.
• Ask for recommendations from friends or relatives who either have used or are using hired respite workers.
• Call your local Agency on Aging. These professionals work with families coping with serious illnesses and are excellent sources for respite care services.
• Call your local American Cancer Society office. They may be able to provide referrals.

You can also find helpful information online at the following Web sites:

• National Respite Nework: www.respitelocator.org. Click here and go directly to the locator page
• Faith in Action: www.faithinaction.org. Click here and go directly to the locator page
• Visiting Nurse Associations of America: www.vnaa.org. Click here and go directly to the locator page

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